We (recruiters) get a bad rap at times. I’d love to say it’s not deserved, and that we’re all good people, who love their craft and see the intrinsic value in matching the right people to the right jobs.

Alas. I’d also like to say that on weekends, I fight crime as part of a team of super-humans. I’d also like to be able to juggle. The former, considering my and eye coordination, seems more likely.

I’m reminded a bit too often about why our industry gets black eyes – there are a few reasons, but one of the ones that really gets to me are the recruiters who spam people with jobs they aren’t fit for. You can’t help but be sympathetic when you reach out to one of these fine, harassed-by-our-industry folks, and they growl “I hate recruiters” to you before ending the conversation. They’ve been beaten down by people who don’t really care about the craft behind recruitment, to the point that it’s almost impossible to convince them that you’re actually a decent person who can help them.

There are lots of bad practices – the one that’s stuck in my craw at this particular moment are the “recruiters” (I think we need a different name for them – grifters?) who spam jobs out to people that they aren’t qualified for, wouldn’t pursue, etc. I just got one of them, from a large, international agency based out of Boston. It’s possible that they’re a fine agency, with principles and morals and best practices they strive to hold up, and this is a bad apple... but... I dunno. If/when I start to build my agency, it’s going to be a firable offense if they spam.

Here’s what I got:

Dear Martin,

I came across your resume on an online job board and wanted to reach out to you to see if you might be interested in a contract opportunity in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

My client is looking for a Leadership Development Contractor to join their team on a contractual basis. My firm TalentBurst, Inc. is headquartered in Massachusetts and provides nationwide staffing support to our client.

Please carefully read the job description below, and if you would like to pursue this opportunity please email me an updated MS Word version of your resume and call me at your earliest convenience. I appreciate your time and look forward to hearing from you.

Job Title: Leadership Development Contractor Duration: 3+ Months with Possible Extension

Location: Cambridge, Massachusetts

Job Description: Work on various culture projects independently; work on various leadership development projects independently; work on various talent planning projects independently.

Strong, confident presence and ability to clearly articulate findings to management level. Extremely strong analytical skills, expert Excel skills and ability to generate analysis independently. Ability to consult with management and senior level HR professionals, with a high degree of credibility.

Education: HR professional with an MBA (preferred) and a minimum of 2 years of Development experience.
Best Regards

Just a couple of things. First, who says “online job board” in the 21st century? (For that matter, who uses them?). Second, I’m pretty sure my resume isn’t on any “online job board”. I own a business. Third, I’m not qualified for the work – I could probably muddle through, but I’ve never done “leadership development”. I work with HR at times, and enjoy it, but it’s in parallel. They’d be doing your client a disservice by representing me to them – and, for that matter, if they actually had taken the time to understand my resume, that would be obvious. They’d also be doing me a disservice by placing me in a role like that.

Unless, of course, they just don’t care. It’s entirely possible that to them, it’s about getting seats in chairs that they can make money off of, and nothing else. Throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. This is terrible. People aren’t spaghetti. It damages lives, and companies. It also makes my real job – the one I’m actually qualified for – that much more difficult.

Could you stop – maybe go do something you’re proud of, instead? Like, juggling? I’d be jealous of you then.