Though lot of literature has been already written and published on this subject. It is always advisable to relook at this very important, but often missed out concept of one’s life. To achieve good relationship management, it is always good to look at some aspects of one life, which help in developing healthy relations with everybody we interact, both at home and in office, mentioned below
Communication with a clear agenda
It is always good to communicate very openly and in a clear manner. The lesser one has scope to read between lines and guess any hidden agenda in one’s communication, the easier would it be for the recipient to understand, the intention of the sender of the message. It would also minimise any form of distortion or gap. People who have a clear ability to communicate effectively have a tendency to build good relations and go a great deal in the domain of relationship management.
Awareness of what is being perceived about one’s actions
It is also very important to be aware of how people perceive us. Getting a regular feedback on ones actions is also good. You can get this from somebody, whom you interact with frequently and this person also needs to be honest and open in giving feedback. Many a times, it may happen that, what we intent to communicate is not necessarily, what reaches people and a wrong perception is built around one’s actions.
Taking responsibility for what is being spoken
Always be responsible for what you speak and don’t say different things at different times, which may seem self-contradictory. As they say a sword that comes out of a scab bath and a word that is spoken, cannot be taken back. Always good to think before you speak and remember, you may be quoted later on and held responsible for what you had said.
Be open to diversity in background
Different people come from different back grounds and the way they behave, the way they talk, can be as different as their language or culture. What works in the East cannot work in the West and what works in North cannot work in the South. It is always good to know about the culture, traditions, behavioural patterns etc. before drawing signals from what is seen. A lot on making good contacts, strong networks and long-time relations can lead from knowing about cultures, knowing things from others and closely observing what is happening. Do keep all this in mind before reading people and the impact it can have on Relationship Management.
Giving respect to everybody
It is good to give respect to everybody. This is not only from a relation perspective, but also from a courtesy and human right perspective. Everybody needs to be respected and Self-respect is something most dear to people. People, who give respect, normally tend to get respect also. The more you seek inputs from people and get different perspectives to things, the more are the ideas that get contributed and would also help in taking right decisions and building comradeship and good relations.
No relationship can be complete without Trust between members involved in the relationship. Whether it is family members or colleagues at work, all relations need to have Trust as its foundation. It is very easy to communicate and work with people whom you can trust; even good teams operate like families. Negative emotions like threat, insecurity, jealousy etc. don’t have a place where the environment is one of trust. Leaders don’t need to waste time in employing more time on making robust intelligence system to spy upon their team members and instead rely on openness and frankness in all interactions. Transparency also adds on in such an environment making it a secure one and makes one’s life worth living. The concentration is hence more on work deliverables and improving oneself than worrying about what others are thinking behind one’s back.
Using Active listening to your advantage
Moving from hearing to listening and more clearly active listening would help a great deal in improving your communication skill. One main thing people forget in a conversation is to listen more and talk less. The fact that humans are gifted with one mouth and two ears is the biggest evidence of why one needs to listen more than speaking. The art of conversation improves and relations between individuals, also become better, when active listening is implemented
Cashing upon a Positive Attitude
If a negative emotion or attitude can be contagious, a positive attitude also can be very impactful to the advantage of the entire environment one is in, whether it is at office or at home, there is a positive change. A positive attitude not only makes the individual more magnetic and also makes him the most preferable person to be around.
How to use Emotional intelligence effectively with Relationship Management
Use the three elements of Emotional intelligence i.e. Self-Awareness, Self-Regulation and Social- Awareness to the maximum extent apart from Relationship Management which is being talked about continually.
Allotting time for Relationship building
Building relations has always helped everybody in the longer run. Spend some time at least 10-15 minutes every day, need not be always continuously, but wherever situation permits. Smiling at people and greeting them, can be a good start to the process of relationship building. Do some small talk and always enquire about them, their work and family.
You can use time to visit friends and relatives, when time permits and develop the social circle. In office you can use the break time, during lunch or tea/ coffee breaks. Many companies also have launched many engagement drives to keep their employees connected.
Thanks to the social media which is very popular and facilitated through technology, one doesn’t need to even look at geographical boundaries before communicating with anybody.
Understanding what you need from different sets of people
The type of need which you are seeking can be different from person to person. Understanding this can be useful, before seeking the same in the corresponding person. What you seek from your Superior could be different from what you are seeking from a subordinate.
You may be seeking guidance and coaching from a superior, whereas from a subordinate, you may be looking at support and qualitative closure of deliverables, within the agreed time frame. At home one may be looking for emotional support and help, in taking care of the home and children from a spouse. From children, one may be expecting affection and obedience. From Parents the expectation may be around guidance and blessings.
Understanding this may help one, in seeking friends and business contacts also. Friends may help in having a good time together or as a help in crisis, other business contacts may help in furthering ones business interest and in building better network.
Once your expectation is clear it is easy to identify people and communicate accordingly, which will also develop the type of relation you wish to build.
Building related skills
It is always good to read literature in the form of books, articles and also attend training programmes or take up e-learning courses on Communication skills, Conflict Management, Team Building, Networking etc. to develop and get the required knowledge on these finer aspects, which can help in relationship management.
How Gossip effects
Lot of literature has been written on the ill effects of gossip, it doesn’t need to be reiterated, that gossip, whether in the personal or official context is a silent killer of good relations. As a donee or donor one is always at a losing end. Any form of gossip with friends or colleagues would cause irreparable damage along with, any other form of office politics or rumour’s floating. It is a strict NO from any angle and should be abstained from.
Exploring Coaching as a tool for building relationship management
It is always good to explore having a coach to help on developing the art of managing relations with people. Coaching has helped a great deal in practically learning any skill that cannot come only through reading or formal learning. Only one word of caution is to ensure the coacher has the ability to really help the coached and has a demonstrated capability, in the competency of Relationship Management or the purpose of coaching is killed.
With the above list of pointers which may not be necessarily exhaustive, one can at least get on to the path of Relationship Management and it would not be long before his relations start improving. As it is said the quality of one’s life is the quality of his relations.