‘Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown’ is one of the most famous lines from Shakespeare’s play, spoken by the quite solitary 15th-century King Henry IV, while he keeps misery for company. Add to this the memorable response by Colin Firth as King George VI in the Oscar-winning movie The King’s Speech, “I wouldn’t know,” to his speech therapist’s wager, “That’s what friends are for.”

It seems you’ve worked hard to get to the summit—perhaps part of the etymology behind the phrase ‘lonely at the top’—only to find there’s no one else there, not even friends. This seems at odds with the picture of the powerfully networked, bourbon-sipping, corner-room C-suite executive.

It appears power does a few strange things to our minds. Have you noticed how, when we reach our 40s, 50s, or beyond, we increasingly gravitate toward school friends, reunions, and the like, sharing impish humour and little else in WhatsApp groups?

Firstly, with pressed pants and former peer groups left behind, the pulls and pressures seem quite different at the top—almost as if we expect resentment from those we previously mingled with. Now, with hordes of secrets to keep, we seem suspicious of those who offer their time or effort freely, wondering about the influence or reciprocity that might be expected. We are uneasy about our crown, scared it might be snatched away. We are concerned about posers, intimidated by others, weighed down by impostor syndrome, and cowed by pressure. We love our image and so we hold on tighter still—depriving ourselves of the very thing we need: friends.

Then there’s the constant strain of decision-making. President Harry Truman had a sign on his White House desk that read, “The buck stops here.” The saying derives from the slang phrase “pass the buck.” In his farewell address to the American people in January 1953, President Truman said, “The President—whoever he is—has to decide. He can't pass the buck to anybody. No one else can do the deciding for him. That's his job.”

Does it have to be that way?

John Maxwell writes in his book Leadership Gold, “If you are leading others and you’re lonely, then you’re not doing it right…” Let’s look at what leaders can do to fight isolation.

TEAM SPORT: Apple CEO Tim Cook, in a 2016 interview, admitted, “It’s sort of a lonely job.” He also implied that the real problem facing leaders is not loneliness, but isolation. Therefore, success ought to be a team sport. When it is, every employee feels valued and engaged. And the CEO is merely the captain of a great team.

AMONGST THE PEOPLE: Leaders certainly aren’t attempting to sell ice cream. Sometimes it’s about tough love—but there has to be love. And love and empathy can only be engaged amongst the people, not in isolation.

BOND: The greatest leaders are the ones who create a bond with those they work with and energise through connection. It is what inspires the people they lead to go above and beyond—just as they see their leader do the same for them. The leader is called to helm the corporate band as the star performer in a symphony—rockstar, perhaps—but carrying an authentic tune.

SOUNDING BOARD: A CEO soon learns that people want to interact with the title, not the person. All interaction and information is filtered. In isolation, you can soon find yourself in a lonely echo chamber. The key is to find trusted mentoring, coaching, a non-competitive peer group, or even an advisory board—perhaps even cultivate collective leadership.

EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES: The meeting room should allow for openness. A principle we followed in senior leadership was: “We agree to disagree agreeably,” which allowed for constructive dialogue and mutual accountability.

WORK-LIFE BALANCE: Over 50 percent of leaders report exhaustion and burnout. The key is regular rest and breaks. Those often-smiling vacation photos of Presidents at Camp David are released to reassure the public that a relaxed CEO is at the helm—rather than a burnt-out leader likely to fumble the nation’s biggest decisions.

BE A FRIEND: In Dale Carnegie’s words — “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” Touché.

WIN-WIN: Friends don’t always operate on equal terms. In The King’s Speech, the speech therapist Lionel Logue believed in the King more than the King believed in himself—true friendship. He created a relationship of equals, insisting on calling the King “Bertie.” Striking, then, that the last frame before the credits roll reads: “Lionel and Bertie remained friends for the rest of their lives.”

FEW: As the proverb goes, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” You will be seen by many, but known by only a few—perhaps just three. C.S. Lewis wrote in The Four Loves: “He is lucky beyond desert to be in such company. Especially when the whole group is together, each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the others. Those are the golden sessions…”

TRUTH: We’ve lost the art of conversation to incessant activity and planning. We no longer speak truth in long dialogue, debate, and deliberation. Who then will reveal a leader’s blind spots? A leader and peer once said to me, “Let’s get together and waste time.” Oh, the loss of intimacy, inspiration, and truth!

Finally

Our current lexicon has it all wrong. We use terms like “ruling party,” implying our leaders rule over us. But the original democratic terms such as “minister” implied servant—and “prime minister,” the primary servant of the people. A good teacher once said: “If you want to be great, you must be the servant of all.” That’s the essence of servant leadership. The purpose of power is service, a responsibility. You simply cannot be lonely when you serve and are among the people.